How to Be a Great Co-Parent

A lot of parents are having to deal with co-parenting these days. This is the situation that happens when parents separate but share custody of the kids they've had together. Co-parenting runs the gamut from a mostly symbiotic relationship to one that is in constant conflict and disharmony. Most of the time it's somewhere in between. When you find yourself having to be a co-parent, you can benefit from learning some tips and tricks to help both you and your kids get through mostly intact.



All kids are massively impacted when their parents break up. The fact that divorces are really common these days doesn't make this easier on anybody. One way to help offset the stress this causes is to avoid disrupting the child's life in other ways. You should work hard to help your kid keep up with extra curricular activities and friendships. Obviously, in many ways life is going to be different from now on. Yet this doesn't have to mean that every aspect of the child's life has to be turned upside down. After a separation, parents have to think in terms of starting over. You shouldn't expect your kids to feel the same way. Their lives require as much stability as possible.

Always include the child in the decision-making process. This is something that will benefit the child later on. This refers to issues such as where the child is going to spend the holidays or summer. Whatever the kid wants to do, that needs to be known. Parents need to allow the decision-making process to happen in a neutral way. When a child is allowed to be consulted in regard to activities, things will go much more smoothly, and the child will be happier. You should never avoid including the children in this process. It will not end up happy. If the child is too young to understand such issues, then such mutual decision-making can be avoided.

Another thing to consider is that when children go back and forth between the different homes, they will want to take stuff with them. Anything you give your child, it is their property, not yours. Always remember that. So they should be able to decide what to take with them from one location to another. Many parents act like infants, acting as if what they give their child is still theirs. Remember, you gave it to them, so it shouldn't matter to you. Instead of having a conflict, parents need to let go and let the children bring the items. It will be in the best interest of the children, which is why this must be done. Your goal is to make your kids happy, so let them bring whatever item they want to since it is theirs.

Co-parenting can look like lots of things and it is important to work out an arrangement that works best for your individual circumstances. The above recommendations, however, are useful as general guidelines to help you keep matters on an even keel. Ideally, when it goes well, co-parenting can help your kids grow up feeling like they have two present parents even if they do not live together.